


New Orleans

by Shay_Moonsilk



Series: Heist AU [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bofur and Nori take off their clothes for necklaces, Established Relationship, Heist AU, Like a darker Robin Hood of sorts, M/M, Mardi Gras, Porn with Feelings, also smuts, but only in front of each other, so there are necklaces
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-06 16:11:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5423516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shay_Moonsilk/pseuds/Shay_Moonsilk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the city of New Orleans, a parade is taking place. </p><p>There's also a robbery going on. </p><p>They aren't related, but one sure makes a good cover (and provides some nice jewelry).</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Orleans

**Author's Note:**

  * For [goldberry-in-the-rushes (thepottermalfoyproblem)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepottermalfoyproblem/gifts), [avi17](https://archiveofourown.org/users/avi17/gifts).



> So this was inspired by a chat were Hacker!Bofur and Assasin!Nori was brought up and I said ABSOLUTELY YES. 
> 
> And then Bofur and Nori were really horny, so there's that. 
> 
> So it's being dedicated to Goldberry-in-the-rushes and Avi17 for that chat that brought this story to life.

Mardi Gras.

New Orleans.

9:30 pm.

The night was just getting started. People were eagerly pacing up and down – several were carrying layers of necklaces just _waiting_ to be thrown. In the hotels surrounding the soon-to-be parade, people readied themselves and pre-gamed in anticipation.

And yet, there were two people, just as dressed up as everyone else, but who had no intention of partaking in the parade. They were instead wrapped up in each other.

Arm in arm, the two men walked. Both were around the same height, but one was ever so slightly taller. This slight difference was accentuated by an elaborate hairstyle – he had three peaks that seemed to defy gravity. He was wearing a suit, all black, with skeletal embellishments. His mask was pitch black, with similar skeletal embellishments. On his arm was the other man.

Unlike his companion, this one wore the essence of Mardi Gras. His suit was a mix of yellows, blues, greens, and browns. In addition to his own mask – a purple and yellow thing – he had a hat that clashed with the ensemble. Over his shoulder was a messenger bag, which also detracted from his look.

They were given a good berth as they walked past, in part because it seemed that they had no care for the direction they were heading in, and also because their closeness seemed too intimate for others to be part of. Every few moments, they would lean in and _almost_ kiss, only to pull away any keep going.

Finally, they reached their own hotel, and exchanged their first kiss as they went inside. The slightly taller man grabbed the strap of the others' messenger back, and used it as leverage to pull him in for another kiss. They continued in this fashion to the elevator, where the more colorful one whispered something to his partner, and they shared a laugh. Then the elevator arrived.

The taller man gestured for him to enter the elevator, and he did. The colorful man grabbed the front of his suit and pulled him in before the doors closed.

They fell on each other once more, kissing and grabbing whatever they could reach. After too short of a time, the doors behind them were opening. Without breaking a step, the taller man wrapped his arms around him and walked backwards until they reached their room. He pulled out his card, and the light barely flickered to green before they were walking inside.

The began disrobing from their suits, and the shorter man pulled his mask off, and sat on the bed. Then, he pulled the laptop out of the messenger bag to begin typing at it.

The other man removed his jacket, but kept his mask on.

“Don’t take too long Nori.” The other man said, “I can only get you in for fifteen minutes. Make it count.”

Nori leaned over to give him a kiss, and then made for the window. “I’ll be right back Bofur.”

Then he jumped out of the window.

Bofur rolled his eyes, and continued typing.

 

* * *

 

Nori walked along the window panes of the hotel, and climbed to the roof. He walked along, occasionally leaping to clear the space from one building to the next. When he reached the end of the street, he crouched down, and pulled out his gun.

In the earpiece he shared with Bofur, they overheard talks about plans to kidnap young teens to bring them to other countries for “ _positions of leisure_.”

Yeah _No_.

“I’m in position.” He said. He had heard enough.

“ _I bet you are_.” Bofur snickered. Nori groaned.

“I will leave you here. Don’t tempt me.”

“ _You would not. Your brothers like me too much._ ”

“Are you ready?”

“ _Give me a minute love, Rome wasn’t built in a day._ ”

“I’m not asking you to build Rome, I’m asking you to take out security.”

“ _And I’m saying give me a minute_.”

“You had a minute.”

“ _You’re in._ ”

Nori wasted no time.

He shot several bullets into the top floor, ending the sick bastards, and other people on the lower floors ( _who thought they worked for a bank, not knowing it was a laundering scam for a human trafficking ring_ ) instantly began vacating the building, and poured on onto the streets where they merged with the chaos of the celebrations below. Before the police would be distracted and come to the roof, he slipped off it and made for the back entrance of the building.

“ _There are three guards at the vaults_.” Bofur said.

“Make it rain, love.” Nori said, loading more bullets into his gun.

“ _With pleasure_.”

The Fire Alarm subsequently went off, and Nori used the confusion of the rain to take down the guards he had been warned about. He continued down the stairs into the basement of the old building ( _because this town was a nineteenth century cliché and the people kept their most precious artifacts in the basement_ ) and knocked out any other guards who approached him with a not-so-gentle tap to the head with his gun.

“ _Vault code is 6873_.” Bofur said, “ _And the fingerprint scan is good to go. I hacked into the system to keep security down well after you vacate the building.”_

Nori punched in the code, and grinned as the doors opened. “I love you. You know that?”

_“Get back here and show me.”_

Snickering, Nori moved quickly, grabbing various cash and blocks of gold. He had to leave most of it, but Bofur promised it would get picked up.

“ _Fili and Kili will be by in ten minutes for clean-up and clear-out. Think you can get back here before then?”_

Nori grinned. “I’ll have you moaning in less time.”

_“Better hurry then.”_

Nori disappeared from the vaults.

Take down a crime ring, keep their loot. Pretty sweet deal.

\--

Just as he left, Nori came back in the hotel room through the window. In the time he ran back, he had picked up a variety of beaded necklaces around his neck, or caught in his hand in the mayhem that now consumed the streets of New Orleans.

Bofur had moved the computer to the bed-side table, and had laid out condoms and lube on the bed.

When he saw Nori come in, he snickered. “Celebrating in the festivities?” He asked.

Nori held up one of the necklaces. “I’ll give you these if you take off your shirt.” He offered.

Bofur smirked, and sauntered over to him, pulling his shirt up and off as he did so. Nori rewarded him with a single necklace.

“Now your pants.” Bofur complied, and accepted the next necklace Nori had to offer. Nori’s hands went around his waist to grip at his arse, and pulled him flush against him.

Bofur moaned into their kiss, letting his hands trail up his back, and slowly pulled his mask away for the first time that day. He broke their kiss to moan again when Nori’s grip tightened. Undeterred, Nori tilted his head back to kiss at his neck. Bofur grabbed onto his shoulders as Nori began to suck. One of his arms went around Nori’s neck, to grab at some of the necklaces. He pulled them off his head, and they separated as Bofur removed them completely.

He walked backwards, waiving the necklaces in front of his face.

“Your turn.” Bofur cooed, sitting back on the bed and scooting backwards. Nori gave him a dark smile, and walked to the bed, taking off his suit jacket, removing his belt to pull his pants down, and unbuttoned his shirt. As he removed each piece, Bofur threw him one necklace at a time. Nori caught them and put them on. He straddled the bed with his knees, and then crawled on top of Bofur. They kissed, and Bofur thrust his hips against Nori’s.

Nori pulled back, ignoring Bofur’s displeased moan. He reached over to where Bofur had laid out the condoms and lube. He took two of the condoms (one flavored and one not), and several of the lube packets.

“I’m pretty sure you promised I’d be moaning right now.” Bofur reminded him. Nori narrowed his eyes at him.

“In a minute.” He said, throwing Bofur’s words from before at him. He carefully opened the flavored condom he had grabbed.

“What? Not in position?” Bofur asked, laughing at his own joke. Nori rolled his eyes and sighed.

Bofur wasn’t done talking however – he never was, “Do I need to help you get in again?” He asked, “Maybe show you a pointer or- _oh_ ”

While he was talking – distracted really – Nori had placed the condom onto his length and closed his mouth along the head. Bofur let out a gasp, and his head fell back. Nori chuckled, and the motions of his mouth and throat made Bofur moan loudly. To stop him from thrusting even more, Nori grabbed his hips in his hands and held him down, which made him moan even more. Bofur loved being restrained in bed – Nori didn’t, because it reminded him of when he’d first started out, on his own, with no help and getting caught and put in jail every other job. He actually found Bofur while running from a failed job, and they stuck together ever since.

Falling into bed together had been so easy.

Nori relaxed his throat and took Bofur in deeper, reveling in the way he fell apart from under him. He tightened his hands around his waist in a command to stay there, and he began to open the lube and spread it onto his fingers. Slowly, he circled Bofur’s rim with his first finger and the hacker responded with a delighted gasp.

He then cursed at Nori, because when he inserted his finger he withdrew his mouth from his cock.

“C’mon,” Bofur pleaded, “Just get on with it!”

“I thought Rome wasn’t built in a day?” Nori asked innocently, adding a second finger and making gentle scissoring motions.

“You’re such a bast- _ah_ ” Bofur voice broke into another gasp, and his back arched like livewire. Nori gave an evil little grin, and continued to stretch him. He sporadically hit his prostate so he wouldn’t expect it, and each thrust left him whimpering and pleading for more.

Nori added a third finger, and slowly stroked his cock with his other hand. “I’m sorry, were you saying something?” It was difficult, but he was proud for keeping his voice level because that seemed to make Bofur hotter.

In response, Bofur tried to cover his face to stifle his moaning, and Nori frowned.

“Hey, none of that. I can’t get you to be quiet when I’m on the field but you get silent on me now?” He pulled his hand out and held Bofur’s face in his hands, and kissed him deeply. Bofur moaned into the kiss, partially from feeling Nori press against him, and partially out of loss for his fingers.

“Don’t worry,” Nori pulled the other condom on, and re-arranged Bofur’s legs so one went around his waist, and the other went over his shoulder. “I’m not leaving you alone.”

He entered Bofur smoothly, yet carefully. The other man whimpered, and clutched at Nori tightly. For a moment neither of them moved – they just held each other close, and enjoyed that feeling. Then, Nori slowly rocked his hips, and they both groaned at the sensation.

Their rhythm began slow, both because it had been a while, and because Nori was a tease. He took his time, sometimes pulling all the way out and then going in quickly, and _sometimes_ thrusting against his prostate, sometimes barely skimming it, and sometimes went to it with an intensity that was almost _too_ much.

Bofur began rocking against him with more urgency, and dug his fingernails into Nori’s back, because he knew the hitman liked that. Nori growled, and picked up his pace to hit his prostate with more frequency. Bofur cried out, and arched his back, digging his fingernails in even more to have something to hold onto, and Nori burrowed his head in his neck to put more marks along there.

At that point, Bofur’s moans and whimpers were getting a desperate tone to them, and Nori knew he was close. He picked up his own speed, so they could come together. Bofur wound up beating him by half a second, but he tightened down on Nori, which triggered his own orgasm.

For a moment, all they did was pant to regain their breath. Nori held the base of the condom, and slowly pulled out. He and Bofur both removed them, and threw them away in the trashcan under the bedside table.

Bofur stretched out like a cat, testing his limbs for any soreness. Nori laid down next to him, letting his eyes close and dozed like that.

Bofur reached over for the computer.

“Ori and Bilbo got the rest of it.” He read aloud. “The Company will meet in two months to discuss work.”

Nori groaned. “Afterglow now, not shop talk.” He demanded, trying to pull Bofur down to him. The hacker set the computer back down, and curled up to his side.

“Let’s go to Atlantic City,” Bofur said, and then yawned. “I heard there’s a blue diamond bigger then your hand.”

“You know what they say about hand size,” Nori joked, and laughed at Bofur’s responding hand swat.

Together, they dozed off – with the festival in the streets, and a good portion of treasure procured.

It was a good day.

**Author's Note:**

> I've also never ACTUALLY celebrated real Mardi Gras (or even been to New Orleans for that matter), so I am positive I got something wrong. Let me know if that's the case and I will do my best to fix it.
> 
> This is very heavily inspired by the beginning of the new 007 movie. I watched it to get ideas for the Playing Field, but the opening scene was just so funny.


End file.
